I've been "upgraded"- or would that be downgraded?

It has been a bad week, pain and fatigue-wise. I'm not going to whine and cry about it (anymore!). I've done enough of that. So, we'll just go over what happened at the doctor.

Last Monday was another appointment with my rheumatologist. I went in ready to fight. Okay. Not fight, just ready to make sure he understood how much worse things had gotten for me lately. I had a list ready. It was a pretty long list. He listened to every complaint, asked additional questions, and was just generally wonderful. After examining my joints (aka torture) he said the words we were hoping for- it's time for biologics. In the end, we switched my anti-inflammatory, increased the methotrexate dosage, and prescribed Humira.

All good news, right? Except that now I have to wait. Again. There is a whole insurance process that has to be completed before I can get the medication. It's such a backwards, convoluted, and bizarre process that I won't even bother trying to explain it here. The important thing is that it can take a couple weeks before the whole process, including my case being presented to the insurance review board, is complete and I know whether or not I have been approved. And apparently, in some cases, you won't even know you've been approved until the insurance company calls you to tell you that your giant refrigerated box of medicine is on it's way. I guess we'll see...

The other thing I learned at the rheumatologist last week happened when I glanced at the doctor's notes and noticed the words "severe case" underlined three times. He had told me before that he would say my case was moderate, so I guess that means I've been given an upgrade! Exciting, no? No. Not really. In truth, I would much rather be moderate. Even better, how about mild?!

That's why I'm so anxious for the Humira, in spite of it's hefty $1500 a  month price tag. It gives me a chance at regaining at least some of my life. I might be able to hold a book and read it! I might be able to wash my own hair! Dress myself! Make dinner for my family! Pour my own tea! Any of these things would be a major improvement right now and Humira is my best shot at getting that back. I am also aware that there are some utterly terrifying side effects and that it's even possible that this medication won't work for me. TNF blockers don't work for everyone, and even when they do work, they often stop working after a while, necessitating a medication change. All of it is worth it to me if there's a chance of being able to live again.

Let's hope they're fast.